STEVIE HAYES RECORDS, (August 2003):

It has come to the attention of "The Artist Futurely known as Legend!":

TURN "FOTHA MUCKIN" PALE ARE LEGENDS, THIS IS THEIR STORY!

Nick Quagliara's, guitar sound is uniquely gorgeous!  I play guitar, and really admire this guitar player's style; it appears to be simple yet rough, tough, and buff, with sophisticated refinement.  This guy, "Doesn't Mess Around!"  He plays flawless, badass, harmonic-type, high-pitched riffs that compliment the bass and drums in the band perfectly, setting Michael Anderson up to add vocals that remind me of a "gothic preacher who is flipped out on acid?"  Chris Lombardi, the bass player is awesome!  Only recently joining Turn Pale, it appears he's been in the band a lot longer, and moves around a lot on stage with Michael Anderson, which creates a spark of newfound energy, and keeps the music interesting and entertaining.  Chris Lombardi, the bass and Martin Sprowles, the drums are really what define this band.  Without them, the Turn Pale sound we now know, we'll it would not work.

Don't break up!

Michael Anderson has great stage presence!  In my observation and opinion, Michael acts like a preacher from the old school Bible belt, preaching some sort of wicked insanity.  At one show, Michael grabbed the bass players head, and quickly threw it back, like those preachers on TV.  And it was really hilarious, and in time with the music also!  Now back to those preachers.  The ones that laugh all the way to the bank, and quote famous catch phrases, like You're saved! and Hallelujah Brother! right as the preacher grabs your wallet, smacks you in the head, and cures you of cancer!  Michael also drew an air cross, making me believe he was preaching something; something insane.  At another show, Michael jumped off of an amplifier, dragged someone down to the floor, and shouted Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah!  You never know what this guy will do next, and this unpredictability adds to the excitement!

Turn Pale is energetic, groovy, exciting, and very original.  "Kill the Lights", the new album is tight, and is worth the money.  The Turn Pale band put forth mucho effort into producing this record.  It offers great sound quality; every instrument glimmers, is lively, and stands out on the recording. The bass lines are lean, dark, and mean; lets get out the smoke machine!  The guitar is as clear as the clearest bell, and one can make out these great harmonic-type, high-end riffs perfectly.  Martin Sprowles, the drummer is talented, because the drums sound wickedly badass; simplistic and tribal, yet rough, tough, buff, driving, and stuff!

Good Job!

And if you thought I sounded like someone who, "Came on Down!", "Didn't Mess Around!", and was tripping on the "Clown Blues!"

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"Turn Pale is a Monstrous Monstrosity of
Mysterious Mystical Musical Mental Masturbation in the Macabre Millennium!"
Turn Pale is the, "Greatest Band Ever in the History of Earth!"
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- review and quotes by Stevie Hayes of Stevie Hayes Records 8/15/03)

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